There is a post-it on the back of my office door where I have written the following words:
ASK BETTER QUESTIONS.
The post-it does not live by itself, there are others…
Anyways, for some time now, I have been trying to tap into a consistent joie de vivre, where I am choosing joy and living my best life, without wearing rose coloured glasses (not that there is anything wrong with them…they are just not me). The key being …I desired to tap into the feeling consistently.
Joie de vivre: an exuberant enjoyment of life.
Seems simple enough. Choose joy. Be happy. Except well, you know …LIFE. But I did try...choosing joy. I even got a sign. But it was a hit or miss experience. Like, I would touch it, this seemingly elusive joie de vivre, and it was absolutely incredible. Then I would get derailed by some random thing,…cue Ne-Yo - “ …I was flyin’, now I’m crashin’, This is bad, real bad, Michael Jackson…” in Keri Hilson’s Knock Me Down. Knock me down is right. And then I would have to bring myself back. And I know …Life is about ups and downs. I get it. Am not merely talking about the ups and downs ....just thinking…there must be a way to ride the wave without getting tossed about too much. Like sure, stuff happens….but …what if?
Undeterred, I stuck with it.
Joseph Campbell is often quoted as having said: “Follow your bliss.” The quote is “…that if you do follow your bliss you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in your field of bliss, and they open doors to you. I say, follow your bliss and don't be afraid, and doors will open where you didn't know they were going to be.”
Bliss: Complete or perfect happiness; great joy
Perfect. My bliss - I LOVE reading, in general, but especially fiction and fantasy fiction (a journey which began with Harry Potter and Twilight, and now I have entered the Maasverse and beyond (#IYKYK). I also love drinking wine, and mixing cocktails. Were I to simply follow my bliss, well…let’s say, I am not that brave enough yet. Hmmmm, who knows, maybe a cafe/wine bar and book store with reading nooks or stations for our devices one can rent for the day. LOL. Maybe he was right!!
But I digress. And the search for my joie de vivre continued.
In Awaken the Giant Within, Tony Robbins said: 'The quality of your life is a direct reflection of the quality of the questions you are asking yourself'
Okay…so what questions have I been asking myself.
For along time, and I am almost embarrassed to admit - NONE. But I get it …I was 100% focused on finding neutral. And if I were to psychoanalyze myself, I understand why - I was in constant survival mode.
Recently however, some of the questions I have been asking myself….and specifically because of my propensity to be completely stuck in my head, overthinking, have been:
But what if it did work?
What if I didn’t think that it wouldn’t work ... for everything? Lol.
What if it did?
What if it were possible?
What if I just did me?
And what if I trust people and what if I expected the best of them?
What if ... I navigated my life without having to see how it wasn’t going to work?
What if… I just trusted it would?
Breathe.
I kept asking myself questions…and they got better.
What if I choose me?
What if I imagined a life for myself that was epic. Beyond the realm of what my eyes can see? What if?
What if all the energy I use to fix everything for everybody else I used to fix me?
Wait a minute…What if …I didn’t need fixing because, I am not in fact broken?
HMMMM….I AM NOT BROKEN.
What if all that energy went towards creating an amazing life?
What if I am intentional about it?
Okay. Sounds brilliant. Where do I start?
And …would you believe….the answer to that question for me was…(Drum roll)
Gratitude. Be grateful for what is, in an elevated way.
Stay tuned. But in the meantime…Are you feeling stuck about anything? Maybe asking better questions is the answer. Let me know if you try it!
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