Sometimes when I was in the thick of things, when things felt like they were spiraling completely out of control, it was hard to see the good, to remember to count my blessings.
At first, and sometimes, it was as simple as finding 5 things I could be grateful for. Maybe I would do the exercise twice a day. Or to be honest as often as necessary to stay grounded in the moment and move forward despite the relief promised in the ease of giving into the heavy.
But we know there are seasons. And nothing lasts forever.
The dark eventually eased and life resumed. And while I was still grateful for life, I didn’t feel fully alive in the living of it. I had survived the hard thing but it felt as if something was missing.
One day someone suggested identifying what I loved about my life. Beyond … you know … being grateful for the obvious. Just start a list. Be persistent. Sit with the question for the next two weeks - What do you love about your life?
Well nothing beats a try than failing to try, right?
I gave it a shot. In the beginning, I would write the words ‘what do I love about my life?’ to start my journal entry and nothing would come. For a lot of mornings, I stared at the blank page. This was beyond being thankful for life and a roof over my head and food to eat and indoor plumbing. All of which I was grateful for. But what did I LOVE? And love felt like such a big word, right? And life had been life-ing for a long time. Anyways, I stuck with it. What do I love about my life? And eventually things came to mind.
I wrote them down. I think the initial target was 20 things. And to be honest I don’t think I hit the target. But I remember being so happy and grateful to have finally identified some things I loved about my life.
Okay. I have my list. What now?
Pick one of those things and go do that. And I did. And I had the most incredible time. It was a simple thing. I went to the beach. If I close my eyes I can take myself there. I can feel the sun on my skin and the sand between my toes. Smell the sun tanning lotion. Taste the cold drink in my hand. See the turquoise expanse of the Caribbean Sea stretched out before me and the clear blue sky. Not a cloud in sight. I can hear the sound of reggae music and men playing dominoes in the background. There’s a slight breeze. And … it was the middle of the week. And I was taking calls from my clients and no one was the wiser. I loved it. It was a seemingly simple thing and it was perfect.
And then I did something else and so on. Living life in the now.
There will be challenges in life.
Clawing my way back to the light … after slogging through the morass took effort. It took effort and conscious practice.
For me, the first step was gratitude. It is something I still do daily, although the exercise or practice expanded, to what do I love? What’s amazing? Whats beautiful? It has been life-giving.
Beyond listing the things you are grateful for, what’s beautiful about your life right now?
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