How do you want to age?

Its a a question I have asked myself a lot over the last couple years.  Mostly as a result of my having a front row seat to my parents journey as they aged.

My dad believed in exercise.  He exercised every morning. My earliest memory of his commitment was his skipping rope outside in the mornings.  He always encouraged us, his children, to walk, to do some form of exercise or sport.  Vacations included.   If we were staying on the north coast, my brother and I accompanied him for his jog along the beach. If we were in Port Antonio, our tennis rackets accompanied us.   As we got older, walking became his standard and there was always an invitation to walk with him. Whether by him on the treadmill, or in later years, to join him on his morning walks on the road.  

For years, my dad tried to get me to accompany him on his morning walks. And for years I resisted, primarily because “Why in the morning?”  I would never describe myself as a morning person.  At one point, he was living down the road and he would walk up to my gate and wait for me.  I would drag myself out of bed, look out the window thinking maybe he would give up and walk without me. But he never did. He was always there, patiently waiting on me, and eventually I would join him on those walks. Down the road (which was a hill by the way) and back up past the gate. And back.  It became a routine until he moved further away. And I happily returned to sleeping in.

Walking was his go to form of exercise, at a minimum. As his children, it was one of the factors we considered when he needed to undergo a medical procedure.  How long before he would be able to resume walking?  When the doctors initially told me he would not be able to return to his morning walks for about 6 weeks, I remember thinking “Are you trying to drive us both mad?”  That was not an acceptable alternative and fortunately, we were able to opt for robotics over the traditional.   To that point, I recall fondly, the three of us happily going for a walk, up and down the hospital corridor the day after the same procedure.  The walk was mandated by his doctor and we had a blast.  I am sure the nurses thought it was amusing… this man and his adult children race-walking in the hallways.

He was serious about his walking (and exercise). And, life post the procedure or being a person living with dementia did not in any way diminish his commitment to either walking, or his other exercise routines. In fact, I would say, while he modified his weight-lifting program, he walked more often, although admittedly, the intensity changed.

One morning, early, shortly after he had returned from the second procedure, I was fast asleep when my phone rang. It was security guard from the complex where my father now lived - three minutes away: “Good morning, Mr. Fullerton is at the gate, dressed and ready to go for his walk, but his nurse is not with him. What should I do?”  

Picture me stumbling out of bed, throwing on sweatpants, and slapping a cap on my head etc., all the while thinking - Are you kidding me?.  

To the security guard, I said: “Let him go. I’m on my way.”   
When I arrived, there he was, out on his morning walk. 
I pulled over and said, “Hey there....”  
He smiled and responded, “Hi, what are you doing here?”  
Me: “I came to walk.”

And so we resumed our early morning walks.  I would wake up in the morning, and drive over to his complex, where we would walk, Daddy, one or two of his nurses and I.  At first on the road.  And then eventually inside the complex.  I am sure it was a sight to see.  We did this consistently until Covid and lockdown.   He and his nurses continued the early morning walks without me.   And woudl walk at my home in the evenings.  

I would also use whether or not he walked, and for how long, as a barometer of how he was feeling or if something was off. Taking my cues and clues from all available sources as he was not always able to convey what was wrong, if anything.  Exercise for daddy was an ingrained habit, and I believe this was a major contributing factor in the quality of his life, and how he aged.     

Walking is one of the simplest things we can do.  It is not the only thing, but it is something we all know how to do, if we are blessed to have working appendages.   How do I want to age?  I would like to stack the deck in my favour, and so I recently re-committed to walking, and I have been doing so in the early morning.  The plan is to add weight training.  I have come a long way from the version of me that dragged herself from bed, and having matured some, I can concede there is something to be said about an early morning walk.  Nature does not disappoint. The air is cool and fresh.  Sometimes there is mist.  There is good conversation, mosquitoes, mangoes, dogs and grass wet with morning dew.   Best of all, is witnessing the sunrise in the morning.  I am a sunset girl myself, but the sun rising has been epic too.   I am really glad I started again.

Aging is a privilege.   And we owe it to ourselves to hedge our bets, stack the odds in our favour, by eating healthy and exercising.  Of course, there are no guarantees.  For sure, we are not getting out alive, but it certainly impacts the quality of the experience.

How do you want to age?  Have you given it any thought?  Is there one thing you could start doing today?  

My sister reminded me as I was beginning my own journey this year, Daddy’s advice to start small, even for 5 minutes a day and add from there.   What can you do for you today?

with love and in gratitude