(More on my musing from the previous post)
At the end of the day ... if it is all a choice, and one can choose to be untethered, adrift, or…not? Because we all get to choose.
Then I could choose to feel untethered, adrift (as if in mid-life crisis) or... not? And in the choosing, I could actively be more intentional about the words I used/chose to describe my life, my day.
So I asked myself, 'How do I want to feel?'
Did I want to feel untethered or adrift? The answer was a resounding 'No.' And I had had enough. It could either be day one or one day. Day one won the toss, and I dropped anchor, effectively drawing a line in the sand.
Great, right?! But then, what next? I was clear... I did not want to feel untethered, but how did I want to feel? Free. Steady. Clear. Focused.
Okay... and again what next? What now? Show up. Here, in this space, and in the other areas of my life. I took stock of where I was, pausing to celebrate a win with friends and to blow some wishes into the portal (a story for another day).
And having decided...I stepped out of inertia, stasis, the mind numbing abyss of trying to have figured it all out, which, to be honest, got me nowhere fast. The result of choosing, of making a decision was two-fold. The first was I took a step, in the direction I chose to head in, trusting the path would appear, certain, that what appears now on the surface to be a series of seemingly small and unconnected events, would in hindsight connect clearly. Trusting and leaning in to the unknown. The unknown, because for a long time I was clear… the future I envisioned for myself was more or less known…I knew what I planned to do, where I was heading…my life had direction, purpose.
The mandate for the younger version of me was clear, as I imagine it probably was for most of us. Go to school, get a good education, then get a good job, or profession. Work hard; be a good human being etc. That was the path, and the path was pretty much laid out.
The best laid plans and all.
I have since learned however, that the road of life is very rarely as clear as we think it should be. Sure there are twists and turns, hills and gullies, valleys and mountains. But what of the detours we don’t see coming – injuries, pregnancies, health issues, love, and life; the death of a loved one, and possibly of our dreams … gone, in a blink of time… just like that.
I did not anticipate the unexpected. And in all fairness to each of us, I doubt we could fathom the myriad of ways life could potentially throw us a curve ball. Or even that we should. But what I can say is, it is the navigating of the detours that shape the journey, that makes it, the journey, what it is. My detour lasted a long time, and I suppose, I could choose to see it as a detour or an incredible opportunity. Again, the words we use in describing our life - always a choice. And helps our experience of the journey.
The second consequence of the act of choosing, was the realization that it was also a calling back of my power to me. If we get to choose whether the glass is half full or empty; whether we are victim or victor: whether to see a day or an incredible day; whether we just had lunch, or the most incredible or satisfying meal of …. , and we ran into so and so. Then the words we use to describe our life, the living of it…it’s all a choice, and some words keep us rooted in place, others set us free.
And yes, there are lots of other factors at play. But we can actively choose, again and again. And it is the act of choosing shapes our life.
So, again, what are you choosing?
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